


you're worse than nicotine.

by smokeynights



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: M/M, Sorry Not Sorry, band text fic, i fucking love these, idek where this came from, luke wants to go ice skating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-28
Updated: 2014-11-28
Packaged: 2018-02-27 08:13:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2685593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smokeynights/pseuds/smokeynights
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>the one where luke wants to go ice skating, ashton is the king of unhelpful comments and malum kink shames.</p>
            </blockquote>





	you're worse than nicotine.

**luke:** guys

**luke:** guys

**luke:** gUYS

**calum:** WHAT

**luke:** can we go ice skating???

**michael:** are you fucking serious

**luke:** what

**michael:** i thought you fell down the stairs or something you giraffe dick **  
**

**calum:** "you giraffe dick" that's gonna be my new quote thanks mike

**michael:** yw cal

**ashton:** lukey i thought you were dying

**luke:** so can we go??

**calum:** if we say yes will you shut up?

**luke:** no

**ashton:** okay we’ll go

**michael:** wtf??

**calum:** aaaaaaaaaaash :(

**luke:** GET YOUR COATS ON FUCKERS WE’RE LEAVING

**michael:** you meant nOW??

**luke:** obviously

**calum:** ashton i hate you

**ashton:** i’m regretting this already

**luke:** GUYS HURRY UP

**michael:** luke is about to wet himself

**luke:** shut up mike

**michael:** i most certainly will not

**calum:** are you waiting at the door for us already wtf

**luke:** don’t judge me

**luke:** atleast my mouth doesn’t water every time michael walks into the room

**calum:** hEY NO

**calum:** THAT WAS UNCALLED FOR

**michael:** aw cal pal u cutie

**ashton:** wait is malum real

**ashton:** because if it is i am hurt that i am finding out about it in a group convo

**calum:** NO IT IS NOT

**luke:** YES IT IS

**calum:** MIKEY DOESNT LIKE ME SO SHUT UP

**michael:** guys i’m still here lmao

**michael:** and wtf cal who said that

**calum:** no one i just assumed

**ashton:** this is so dramatic omg

**luke:** ash honey please shut up i have been waiting years for this moment

**calum:** you have???

**michael:** not even gonna ask about your weird dreams lucas

**luke** : fuck you

**ashton:** hey no fuck me instead

**michael:** tHIS IS MALUM TIME NOT LASHTON TIME

**michael:** anyway calculator

**calum:** srsly

**michael:** yes srsly bUt what if i told you i get off regularly thinking about you shirtless

**luke:** MY INNOCENCE

**ashton:** MICHAEL!!!!

**michael:** oh shut up daddy

**calum:** was that your twisted way of telling me you like me

**michael:** maybe

**michael:** and that i want to fuck you

**luke:** this is weird

**calum:** shut up 'princess'

**ashton:** CALUM

**ashton:** michael shut up i can hear you laughing from my room

**luke:** he sounds like a hyena

**calum:** but a cute, balding hyena

**michael:** aw

**ashton:** so… malum is real?

**michael:** yes ofc

**michael:** well i mean, if calum wants to be my date buddy ((and fuck buddy i’m flexible))

**calum:** was that meant to sound dirty bc it so did

**calum:** btw yes i will

**luke:** well now that that’s sorted

**luke:** CAN WE GO ICE SKATING NOW

**michael:** only if calum holds my hand ;)

**calum:** wimp

**michael:** hEY

**ashton:** michael you’re so whipped

**michael:** atleast i don’t actually whip my boyfriend

**luke:** THAT WAS ONE TIME!!!

**calum:** sure it was

**calum:** …baby boy

**ashton:** CALuM

**michael:** tHis IS FUCKIGN GREAT

**luke:** you’re all dicks i’ll just go by myself :((((

**calum:** lol have fun loser

**michael:** don't try run off with any penguins.. again

**luke:** ONE FUCKING TIME

**Author's Note:**

> i love band text fics okay once you hop on the band text fic wagon you can never get off.


End file.
